


Finding Hope in Change

by Monisse



Category: The Resident (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Family, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22073758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monisse/pseuds/Monisse
Summary: With the premise that people seek relationships similar to their parents, and on the verge of becoming parents themselves, Nic and Conrad discuss how different and changed is their own relationship.Conrad and Nic featuring the chickens.
Relationships: Conrad Hawkins/Nicolette Nevin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56





	Finding Hope in Change

A light spring breeze played with the few strands of hair that fell from her bun, while the wooden swing chair rocked her body gently back and forth. Her eyes traveled intently across the words on the magazine she held, until a movement in the distance caught her attention. Nic watched as Conrad crouched by the coop on the other side of the backyard with all his attention focused on the little fat birds that ran aimlessly around the small space. She saw his lips moving without discerning the words at such distance, though his smile was quite evident.

These days, he was far from the man she met years ago. He was calmer, as if most of the restless energy had morphed into a steadfast baseline and the cacophony of thoughts that had once populated his mind were in order at last.

These days, Conrad talked to chickens. He found it soothing, yet Nic could not grasp why talking to such creatures, which seemed to lack even an ounce of understanding in their blank stares, could bring him peace of mind. Even after all this time, and the fact that she was the one that brought the birds into their lives, Nic was still suspicious of them and preferred to maintain a safe distance. His regard for the chickens was very odd to her, but the infectious, childlike smile on his face was worth their presence. She smiled as well at last, letting him spend some quality time alone with the chickens.

Nic had been so absorbed by the magazine that she only realized Conrad had joined her when the swing balanced dangerously fast under the weight of his sudden presence.

"What are you reading?" he asked while returning the swing back to its slow cadence by steadily pushing against the ground with his feet. Out of habit, his hand landed softly on her round belly. 

“An article that says people usually seek love relationships that are similar to the ones their parents had.” the words came out casually as she threw her legs over his lap.

Conrad stared at her with eyebrows raised high, “You believe that?”

“It does make some sense,” she replied, “the author made a very compelling argument.”

“Really?” he sounded doubtful. “How was your parents’ relationship then?”

She sighed deeply at his question and began close to a whisper. “My mother was a very nurturing person and she cared for my father without expectations. Even before she died, he made plenty mistakes and had no sense of responsibility whatsoever, but she forgave him every time and I didn’t understand why. But then…”

Nic paused for a moment, her eyes suddenly focused on a backyard far different from the one surrounding her, one that only existed in memories now.

“When I was a kid, sometimes I woke up to my mother singing while she worked on the flowers of our small garden.” The memory brought a smile to her lips and a thickness to her voice. “Then, the song would stop and from my bedroom window I would watch my father lean down to kiss her. They would then smile at each other as if there was nothing else in the world except themselves. In those moments, I knew I wanted a love like that.”

“It seems like they loved each other very much.” Conrad added after a while.

“They did and she loved him in spite of his flaws. Since then I've learned that love sometimes means acceptance and forgiveness.” she said as her fingers caressed the back of his neck while he nodded in silent understanding.

“Have you found a love like that?” a small smile was upon his lips.

“Yes, I did.” she smiled brightly in return and leaned in for a lingering kiss.

In retrospect, it had not taken long for Nic to instinctively know he belonged in the big picture of her life. It was surprising how quickly she had agreed to go out with him, especially at a time when all her defenses were built high and she never relied on anyone except herself, but there had been something about that incredibly infuriating, self-assured first year intern that she couldn't resist. The impulsive behavior was only matched by his compassion and brilliance, and that had been enough to capture her heart. Yet, even though he cared about others fiercely, he did not allow to be cared for. Conrad had seldom let her reach through the cracks in his soul and ease the palpable pain from a past he barely spoke about, although it was written all over his nightmares, his recklessness, his heavy silences. And that had been a constant repulsive force tearing them apart, until she finally saw his growth and realized the futility of wasting time fighting against the inevitable.

When their lips parted, Conrad was silent for a while. Nic noticed that his eyes were unfocused, and even though his hand stroked her belly in small circles, his mind was far away, engaged in deep thoughts that she could not reach. 

“Well, I definitely do not want a relationship like my parents had.” he finally said.

“How was it?” Nic knew perfectly well that his childhood had been an unpleasant one amidst divorced parents, but she still yearned to know more.

“The man you know now is very different from the father I had growing up. He was a man of judgment, stern words and long absences. In contrast, my mother was a kind, patient woman, and she deserved more than that kind of relationship. I don’t even remember seeing some semblance of love between them, it was always as if the only thing that held my parents together was a marriage vow and a child, until not even that was enough.”

Tears started to form in his eyes and his voice became rougher with emotion. Moments like this, when he allowed himself to be vulnerable, just for her, were precious, and Nic encouraged him to go on.

“When the engagement was over and got shipped off to the Marines, I was certain that love hurt too much to be worth it. I learned that from my parents. From then on the brief relations with no strings attached were enough to fulfill me without the pains of a broken heart.”

“What changed then?” she asked.

Wrinkles formed at the corners of his dark eyes made by a spreading smile. “I met this really brilliant nurse practitioner.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah! And I made a fool of myself so many times that she pushed me away for a very long time. Luckily, I’m a patient man.”

One of her eyebrows shot up. “You mean persistent?” 

“Well…” he said amidst a laugh, “she gave me a tough time, but I deserved. It made me realize that she was worth any pain.”

Nic felt her cheeks burn hot under his gaze, after all these years Conrad was still capable of making her heart seemingly soften with the intensity of his love.

“So, it seems that this article is wrong.” she threw the magazine aside and leaned further into the warmth of his body.

“Maybe, but I know we'll make a good example for this little one and all the others.”

“The _others_? How many do you want exactly?”

“I'm thinking at least a little league baseball team.” he replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“What?” Nic sat up straight as quickly as her enlarged belly allowed and looked at him incredulously.

“I mean...” he started, the innocence in his voice only betrayed by a large grin, “as many as you want!”

“Smart answer, Dr. Hawkins.” Nic leaned into him once again and felt his chest vibrate with laughter.

His hand resumed the caresses on her belly and Nic observed in awe as his eyes closed slowly. Long, blond lashes brushed the skin under his eyes while he enjoyed the peacefulness that settled between them. She felt a languid movement within as the baby drifted in its watery home towards the side where Conrad’s hand rested. A rush of emotion burned through her bloodstream in that brief moment and she felt as if their heartbeats, hers and the little girl she carried inside, slowed down and began beating in unison.

While the three of them balanced slowly on the chair, a little smile pulled at the corners of her lips with the realization that their lives were far different from the ones their parent’s had, and though the path was not always smooth, their love was as much an inevitability as it was hard work to change their unhealthy patterns and accommodate to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave some love if you can.
> 
> To end this Conic 'Hope' series, feel free to send prompts for the next story with their baby!


End file.
